Yep, I'm a Slacker

I know, I have completely let me blog fall by the wayside. In my defense, my 7 month old child has spent more time in the hospital in the last 2 months than he did when he was first born. I also have alot of personal things going in my professional life that are causing alot of stress and has eaten up the majority of my attention. I hope to be back to normal blogging soon!!

In Sickness and in Health

We all know the phrase. We all took the same vows. To love our spouse in sickness and in health. Boy have we put that one to the test this year!

It started off last October when our son was born via c-section. If you've ever been so lucky to have one, then you know that for the first couple of days you need help doing EVERYTHING! Walking, showering, going to the bathroom. It all requires assistance while your muscles try to figure out how to function again. My sweet hubs stepped up and completely helped me with these tasks without complaint. I won't lie, I was a little worried about it. He's never had to take care of another person before. And we hadn't even been married a year yet. Was he going to help bathe me without complaint? Would he even be willing to do such a thing? He did and it aided my recovery quickly and I was ever so grateful.

Last week, he decided it was his turn. Wednesday night my hubs came home with very red eyes and saying they were irritated after sleeping in his contacts. Thursday morning he woke up in immense pain and couldn't see ANYTHING. My husband was blind. Cue instant panic. Luckily we found an eye doctor that could get him in so we packed up baby and headed off to the optometrist. He said that hubs was exposed to some chemical and when he removed his contact it took the entire top layer of his iris off. He bandaged up both of my husbands eyes and said to come back in 24 hours. And ordered a Rx for eye drops at the gauging cost of *gulp* $150.

24 HOURS. I had to completely care for my husband in ways that spouses never dream they will have to for 24 hours. Along with having to guide my husband, dress him, feed him, and yes, help him use the restroom, I also had to do all the same things for our 5 month old who decided to teeth and was a BEAST to say the least. At 7pm that night I drugged the hubs with an Ambien, put the baby to bed and enjoyed a big glass of wine along with an entire pan of brownies. Do not judge me. I had to wipe my husbands butt.

Luckily, things did improve so Friday he was down to one eye being bandaged. I got him the nifty black patch at walmart and we proceeded to make Jake and the Neverland Pirate jokes all day. Saturday was even better and as of this morning with the assistance of temporary glasses he is able to see and function all on his own. THANK GOD!

It's amazing the things we take forgranted. And after our experiences in the first 2 years of marriage, my husband and I will forever be able to say we took our vows to heart!

PS It's sad that I had to come to work to enjoy a peaceful cup of coffee and be able to write this blog.

The Scariest Moment of My Life

Most of my followers are mommies so you will know exactly what this post means. There aren't many moments in life that will just absolutely give you the fear of God but I had one last Monday night. We were on our way to pick up Will from his sitter's house when she text me that he was wheezing and seemed to have a hard time catching his breath. I am pretty sure my heart stopped. We took him straight into the dr's office and his pulse/ox was low so they immediately took him back for oxygen, breathing treatments and a chest x-ray.

To make an incredibly long story short Will has RSV. I have never been so terrified in my life as I was last week when we were bounced around from dr to dr and given a million different diagnosis' and results. On top of the RSV he also has a double ear infection which we were told is actually one of the most common side effects from RSV. After three days of dealing with this

this was our Thursday night

That is my precious gift from God on a gurney in a hospital receiving fluids and steriods because the antibiotic caused him to get severe diarrhea and with the ear infection he wouldn't take a bottle of any kind. It was gut wrenching watching him get poked and prodded and go through all of this.
Thankfully the jacked up antibiotic they gave him in the hospital seems to have tamed things and he is doing much better today. I know that all of the horrors we went through were only to make him better and stronger, but this mommy had a complete meltdown. I was already hysterical when they came to get him for his chest x-ray and even though no mommy wants to leave her baby in a time of need, even the poor technician said it would be best if I stayed behind. Daddy took him and said he was a total trooper.

His pulse/ox levels are holding steady and after 8 days of quarantine we finally got to get out of the house yesterday and did a little shopping! It was a gorgeous day and I think the fresh air did all of us some good because Will ended up sleeping 12 hours last night!

I hope that no parent ever has to go through this ordeal. It was awful. I told my BFF I wouldn't wish that experience on the devil himself and I meant it. Those of you who are friends with me on Facebook, thank you again for all your prayers and support during everything. I truly believe they helped him recover so quickly.

Mommy Guilt

This Friday it will be 4 months since this beautiful child entered my life.

And now he's grown into this

I'm sitting here once again at work and texting my babysitter and realized that for the last two months I feel like I am completely missing out. I am racked with mommy guilt. It's a horrible, horrible feeling. I have no choice but to work because without my income we wouldn't have a home. And its not like I keep working so that we can live in some fancy home. We are still living in a one bedroom apartment and my child is still sleeping in the dining room. (We have put our names on the waiting list for a 2 bedroom). But he's changing every single day and each week I only get 48 hours with him. I just know I'm going to miss him rolling over for the first time, his first words, all the special moments in life. I was blessed enough to spend Jackson's first year of life at home with him and missed nothing.

My husband gets frustrated when Will is crying because he says he doesn't know what he wants/needs and that I always do. But the more I think about that, the more I realize I have no clue. I guess at things and try different things and I am usually able to soothe him. But talking with my sitter today I feel like she knows my child better than I do. She spends 9 hours a day 5 days a week with him. I was blessed to find him a wonderful lady that cares for him in her home with only her 2 children. She treats Will as if he were hers and loves him the same. I know that he's in excellent hands. But they aren't my hands....

Have any of you mommies every experienced this? How did you cope? How do you make the mommy guilt go away?

Falling Apart

At age 14 weeks and 3 days.

At least, that's all I could think when we were sitting in the dr's office last night hearing everything that is WRONG with our child. Enter massive dose of wine and chocolate topped off by happy pills for this mommy.

We visited our pediatrician again last night in the hope he will finally do something about baby's congestion. Its been going on for over a month now and all I keep getting told is to wait it out because he's too little for meds. While I did get this answer again, I did get to leave with some clarity, confidence, and a BBG machine. For those of you unfamiliar with the wonders of the BBG machine it is basically a vacuum with a tube attached and the tube goes up your babies nose to suck out all of the snot. Welcome to the wonderful world of mommyhood.

With the congestion baby has a badly swollen nose and a ton of drainage. He also has bad dry skin, craddle cap and a yeast rash on his neck from slobbering due to teething while he's sleeping at night. Cue $100 bill at WalMart on Aveeno lotion for the dry skin, baby oil for the craddle cap, Rx for the yeast rash, saline drops to assist the BBG machine, Tylenol because its the only thing we can give him, and basic other items for baby.

The only positive thing from the appointment is his lungs are perfect and there is no RSV or pnuemonia on the horizon!! I am in for one fun weekend! Wish me luck!

Suffering From Exhaustion

Driving to work this morning I was listening to my favorite station and they were telling about Demi Moore being hospitalized. Now, I'm not completely heartless and I do feel bad that she's sick but the phrase they used got me to thinking. They said she has a substance abuse problem and is SUFFERING FROM EXHAUSTION. Does that phrase sound familiar to anyone else? It seems like everytime a celebrity is hospitalized that phrase pops up. Huh???

Now, I'm half the age of this particular celeb and alot younger than alot of others I've heard have been hospitalized for this same thing. Is this a serious problem? As you all know I have a now 3 month old at home. Not only that, but my dude has decided to out do big brother and is teething. Not just one, but three. My child has THREE TEETH! Two on the bottom have not broken through yet but are clearly there and one on the top has actually broke the skin. All of my fellow mommy bloggers know exactly what this means. I AM GETTING NO SLEEP. And not just that, but he is constantly cranky and it seems like only mommy's arms make him happy.

On top of the no-sleeping-cranky-baby I also work a full time job and has a husband that just started a brand new job 15 minutes away that I have to get up and drive him to every single morning at 6am. Am I suffering from exhaustion? Maybe I should check into the hospital? Think it'd get me any time off work? I mean, I did try to put my face wash soap in my hair this morning and use creamer in my cereal instead of milk? Maybe I'm also suffering from this apparently very serious disease and don't know it!!!

I'm not trying to downplay anyone's illness and I do wish Demi a speedy recovery. But come on! Celebs live the high life. If they have young children 95% of them have nannies that help them constantly. Most of them don't even have children living at home anymore because they're grown. So how in the world are they suffering from exhaustion? Can anyone help me understand this?

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th has proved its legend to me today!!!

I woke up all excited that its Friday and I have the weekend with my family ahead. We're blessing the baby tomorrow. Things look great! And then it hit.... literally. I stopped at the 7-11 on my way to work and I parked in a space, about to get out of the truck when the guy on my passenger side side swipes me truck! AND KEPT GOING!!!! By the time I had even processed what had happened he was down the street. I came to work completely frazzled. Luckily, I called my mom to complain and she told me to call the cops. I did and a very nice officer called me back and said he was going to the 7-11 to look at the security tapes to see if he could get a plate number. He came to my office afterwards and took pictures of my truck and we did all the paperwork. Luckily, I work for a car dealership and I pay attention to random things on vehicles like the plate frame of what dealership it came from. The guy who hit me had a plate frame from my dealership because he had purchased the vehicle from us. The cop asked my manager if there was any way of finding out who we sold the car to. He took a guess and pulled up the last customer that we had sold that type of vehicle to. The cop pulled up the license of the guy (we had a great picture of him entering the 7-11) and low and behold it was the guy!! The cop went to his house, found the damaged vehicle and got all his information to me so that I can file an insurance claim. Crisis Averted! Or so I thought.

After all the drama I went to get something to eat at Taco Bell and my card was declined. Interesting?? I had cash, paid and came back to my office to check my online account. My freaking card was compromised and there was a random charge on there that left me with $4 in the bank. I called the card company and had to cancel that card, order a new one, and now I have to wait for the charge to actually post so they can start their process of getting my money back.

I was never a superstitious person, but you better believe I will now be on the lookout for black cats, ladders, cracks in the sidewalk, etc!