13 Years

Thirteen years ago tomorrow I lost the most important man in my life, my daddy. He was my entire world. He was not just my daddy, but my best friend. Thirteen years later and this week has still not gotten any easier. It starts today because that was the day he went into the hospital, but he actually didn't pass away until tomorrow. Then his birthday is May 7th. He would've been 78 this year.

He missed all of the major events in my life. My high school graduation, never got to walk me down the aisle, and will never know his amazing grandson who carries his name. And he'll never meet this new baby about to enter into our life.

It breaks my heart that he's not here. He was such an amazing man. Full of warmth and love and life. He always had a smile on his face and went out of his way to make sure I was happy. He loved his children, his grandchildren, and his friends. He would've done anything for anybody. When he loved it was with his whole heart.

My dad was an amazing baker. He could make Elmer's glue taste like creme brulee. I have the best memories of my childhood making a huge mess in his kitchen baking cookies, cakes, and the Norwegian classic, lefsa. I got my first scar on his oven making chocolate chip cookies when I was six. Luckily for me, but not my waistline, I inherited his skills. I can't wait to pass them down to my children and only hope they mean half as much to them.

Nothing can take away my pain today. Nothing can stop my tears for the emptiness I have. I know the Lord will give me the strength to get through this week and make it another year without him. But today, I'm feeling the pain of not being able to pick up the phone and call him just to tell him I love him.