Monday, February 13, 2012

Mommy Guilt

This Friday it will be 4 months since this beautiful child entered my life.

And now he's grown into this

I'm sitting here once again at work and texting my babysitter and realized that for the last two months I feel like I am completely missing out. I am racked with mommy guilt. It's a horrible, horrible feeling. I have no choice but to work because without my income we wouldn't have a home. And its not like I keep working so that we can live in some fancy home. We are still living in a one bedroom apartment and my child is still sleeping in the dining room. (We have put our names on the waiting list for a 2 bedroom). But he's changing every single day and each week I only get 48 hours with him. I just know I'm going to miss him rolling over for the first time, his first words, all the special moments in life. I was blessed enough to spend Jackson's first year of life at home with him and missed nothing.

My husband gets frustrated when Will is crying because he says he doesn't know what he wants/needs and that I always do. But the more I think about that, the more I realize I have no clue. I guess at things and try different things and I am usually able to soothe him. But talking with my sitter today I feel like she knows my child better than I do. She spends 9 hours a day 5 days a week with him. I was blessed to find him a wonderful lady that cares for him in her home with only her 2 children. She treats Will as if he were hers and loves him the same. I know that he's in excellent hands. But they aren't my hands....

Have any of you mommies every experienced this? How did you cope? How do you make the mommy guilt go away?

1 comment:

  1. I don't think there is any way to make it go away. I think you have to take comfort in the fact that you are working to provide a home for your child and that he is in good hands while you are away. Make sure that every moment you have with him you cherish! And tell him not too do anything new while he is at the sitter's ;)