Monday, December 12, 2011

The Heart of Christmas

This afternoon during my little one's nap time I got some mommy time with the DVR. I watched a movie called The Heart of Christmas. It's about the true story of a little boy named Dax Locke and his family. Dax is diagnosed with AML M7 at the young age of 13 months. The movie is about the journey his family goes through and even has narration from his mom's actual Caring Bridge journal. Unfortunately sweet little Dax lost his battle with cancer at 2 1/2 years old. As I was watching this incredible movie I couldn't help but go get my sleeping baby and just hold him tight in my arms.

Julie Locke's motto is "Cherish Every Moment". This has really made me think in the last 24 hours. Christmas is supposed to be about family and the birth of Jesus Christ. Instead, people have made it about presents and parties and decorations and so many other things that aren't important. I'm not trying to say I'm perfect by any means, but after watching the story of this family and reading some of her blog posts last night, it made me rethink this holiday season.

I want to make an effort to spend more time with my husband. Since baby's birth, of course I have been wrapped up in all things William. Who can help that?? But I do catch myself getting shorter and shorter with my husband. I can put William in his swing or bouncey seat and try to spend more quality time with my husband. Our anniversary is this weekend and I've already lined up a babysitter so we can go out to dinner and maybe go see some Christmas lights. Just something to focus more on each other.

I want to take more time to tell the people that are important to me how much I appreciate them. I have many wonderful friends and family and I don't want to let another day go by without telling them what their friendship means to me.

There are many other things I'm going to make an effort at. But right now, I'm going to snuggle with my sweet baby and cherish every moment God has blessed me with. I hope you all do the same.

Monday, November 14, 2011

4 Weeks and a Meltdown

I have become the world's worst blogger since baby William entered our household. Its not really for lack of time but more lack of anything super interesting to blog about.

Today marks baby's 4 weeks of life. Thursday he will officially be a month old. I cannot believe it has gone by so fast!!!! I think I snuggle him enough and try to embrace every smile and smell, but its still flying right past me. I am however super excited to have his first Thanksgiving next week and to get to enjoy that as our little family.

We had our first mommy meltdown moment last night in the middle of the night. After about two nights of no sleep, this mama was on the edge. Throw in a baby who screaming bloody murder trying to poop, and you have two crying people in the bed at 2am and a poor husband who has absolutely no idea what to do with either one of us.

Luckily, baby popped and finally fell asleep and life was calm again. But it confirmed in me that something was wrong with my child. I called his pediatrician first thing this morning only for his idiot  nurse to tell me that my son just has colic and that I need to wait it out for the next month. Are. You. Kidding. Me. I really hate when dr's treat you like you have new mommy syndrome (aka you have no idea what is wrong with your child). I know the difference between being fussy and freaking the crap out. We immediately switched pediatricians. Luckily, I also had my 4 wk checkup with my midwife and she checked over baby and confirmed my suspicions. His current formula was too hard on his poor tummy so we switched him to a sensitive Enfamil. We're three feedings in with the new stuff and dad and I can already tell a difference in our precious baby. Lets just hope he keeps up his sweetness and allows mommy to sleep tonight!

I know alot of my bloggy friends gave birth to sweet babies as well right around the time William was born and I hope everyone is doing well and healthy. And just because I doubt I'll have anything blog worthy before then, Happy Thanksgiving!

Baby enjoying his new bouncy seat

Friday, October 21, 2011

Meet William James

Our little man has a mind of his own!! He decided Monday morning he did not want to wait any more and broke my water. We went to our doctor to be sure and didn't leave the hospital until yesterday morning!!

William James entered the world October 17,2011 at 5:24pm weighing 7lbs 3oz and 19 inches. He was perfectly healthy even though coming 10 days before his schedueld c-section date and 17 days before his due date. We are very thankful that everything went smoothly and I could not have asked for better doctors.

We are home and I am still recovering but doing good. Hubby even went to work today since it was just a half day and I have to say it was super nice to get to get to have quality alone time with my baby for the first time. But it also made me realize how much I am depending on my husband right now. I cannot brag on him enough. He has been absolutely incredible. He is still figuring out what to do with a newborn and its adorable to see him hold his son. The love that comes through his face will just make you cry. And for a man who has never had to physically care for another person, he has totally stepped up. The man has to bathe me. He cooks for me. He gets everything I need and helps me with baby.

Breastfeeding has been its own challenge that has earned its own blog at a later date and time. Right now baby is sleeping so I'm going to scarf down some dinner and leave you with some photos!

Our last moment as a family of 2

My first time holding baby William

First family photo

Can't you see how in love he is with his son

UGA fan from birth

Home sweet home

Thursday, September 22, 2011

I did it!!!

Today marks 34 weeks of pregnancy. This is a HUGE accomplishment for me because my first son came at 32 weeks. The fact that I am now two more weeks pregnant than I have ever been in my life just amazes me.

And thats about the nicest thing I can say about being 34 weeks pregnant. I'm still working full time and hanging in there. 99% of the time I am absolutely miserable. Our sweet peanut has spent the majority of his womb time sitting low on my pelvis. That has only gotten worse. I would KILL for a kick to the ribs just to get him off my tail bone. My already too big wedding bands are starting not to fit alot and I'm pretty sure I'm grateful I can't see my feet. I don't even want to know what they look like.

Don't get me wrong, I am truly grateful to be carrying this little man. Being a mother is the greatest thing I will ever do with my life. But I could absolutely do without the pregnancy part. And of course as I type that, I get a nice big karate kick to the bladder! Time to say goodnight!

I hope everyone on the interwebz has a wonderful weekend!

Monday, September 12, 2011

A Little Fall Fun

This weekend I took a much needed vacation day off from work and FINALLY got things done! Almost a year after being married I finally share my husband's last name. We also squeezed in our 32 week dr's appointment and Baby S is looking fantastic!! Poor little guy is running out of room in mommy's tummy and I officially have the waddle. I can't help it. Don't judge me. Especially when you see me eating cupcakes.

We took our maternity pictures Saturday evening and I cannot wait to get them! Of course I will share as soon as I see any of them.

My BFF also came over and painted my ever growing belly like a pumpkin. I have been wanting to do this since we found out Baby will be a Halloween baby. (Scheduled c-section is Oct 27th) Yes, its only the middle of Sept, but on the off chance Baby S wants to follow in Big Brother's footsteps and come early, I wanted to get this done. I will leave you with the pics we took and I think they are just freaking adorable!

The Giant Pumpkin Belly

My husband was not thrilled about this whole thing

All set and ready for baby!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Nursery in a One Bedroom

How do you put a nursery in a one bedroom apartment you might ask??? Well, you convert your dining room of course! I will now leave you with the pictures of our hard work.


Sweet baby crib

The frames we received at both of our showers

Dresser/Changing Table

The finished product

Monday, July 25, 2011

Bad Blogger

I have been a terrible blogger lately. Honestly, my life is just not exciting. This week I'll reach 26 weeks of magical pregnancy. Between that and work, I basically come home and sleep or lay around until its time to sleep. My husband even made the comment last week that he never sees me anymore. Thats because I live in my bedroom when I'm not in my office.

I did have a birthday last week. The big 27. It was a very nice day with lunch with my best friend, cake and presents at work, and then an 80 minute prenatal massage as a gift from my husband. This weekend he's taking me to see Harry Potter. He did good.

Pregnancy is going great. Baby is healthy and next week we have the wonderful glucose test and rhogam shot. I'm very ready to get it over with and hope I don't have to do the 3 hour test. It's not a hard test or even all that bad, its just gross and the not eating is inconvenient to a growing person inside who thinks mealtime is 24 hours a day.

I have gotten to be home the last 2 days with absolutely nothing to do and it was fabulous. It inspired me to actually make good, healthy meals for me and hubs. Last night we had lemon pepper cod, steamed broccoli and homemade mac and cheese. This was my first attempt at homemade mac and cheese and after following this Paula Deen recipe I am recommending it to EVERYONE!!!! It goes in the crockpot and is super yummy and cheesy creamy goodness. Seriously, I ate two platefuls of all of it. Tonight I made my first pot roast and in the crockpot, with help from my BFF Erin, and it turned out amazing as well.

Hubs is not a huge sweet fan which has been a conflict since all I crave is sweets constantly. He's not into cakes and cookies and all that yummy stuff. He's more of a cobbler/pie guy and had some super sweet stories about his grandmama making cobblers when he was little. So after some googling I found a super easy recipe for a cherry cobbler and with the exception of baking powder I had everything I needed to make this last night. I ran to the store for the powder vanilla ice cream and made my first cobbler. Hubs watched me put it together and complained it looked strange. When we pulled it out of the oven it was perfect!! Little tip: if you do cook this at the 350, it really only needs like 40-45 minutes. Even though it was still yummy, the crust was a tad on the crunchy side so a little less time would have been perfection.

I am now super pumped to have these easy recipes in my arsenal for when baby is here and the in-laws come to visit. Even though its right after we get home, I can't have them visit us and not cook for them. Its not in my Southern roots. Thats all for now!! Hope everyone has a great week!

Friday, July 1, 2011

A Trip Home

Hubs and I just got back from 8 wonderful days in GA with our families. We had a blast and enjoyed some amazing food that you can only get in the south. I was in heaven. My dr is probably going to freak at my weight gain next week at my ultrasound!

While we were there MIL threw us an amazing baby shower. We did get a few gifts but mostly gift cards which were much appreciated since we were traveling. Even what little we did get in actual gifts cost us over $50 to send USPS regular post.

This weekend holds nothing exciting for us even though it is the 4th of July. We will be complete homebodies and resting. My body is still on GA time and wakes me up ready for the day at 5am. Not cool. I will leave you all with some pictures and hope everyone has a wonderful and safe holiday weekend!

21 wks pregnant

Our incredible cake!! The top layer was vanilla and the bottom chocolate

VERY excited about some UGA stuff for baby

Me with two of my closest friends

Family Photo w/ SIL, BIL, Grandmama, hubs and me

All Baby William's loot
Me, my mom and my son

Monday, June 20, 2011

1 year anniversary

One year ago today I was going through some photo's and found a very old picture of me and my first love. Then thanks to some encouragement from my BFF Erin and Facebook stalking super-sluething I found my now brother-in-law and got the phone number to my now husband.

One year ago tomorrow I heard my husband's voice for the very first time in 6 years. It brought me to tears as soon as I heard and I knew I could never let him go again. After just a few days of talking, turns out he felt the same way.

We got back together and are now married and expecting our first child. 11 years ago I loved this man more than anything on the earth and today, I love him more. It has been an exciting year of ups and downs and many blessings. I cannot wait for the next 5 months to pass so that I can see him holding our son. Then shortly after that we will celebrate our one year wedding anniversary.

Every day, good or bad, I thank God for bringing this man back into my life. After so many years of hurt and abuse and shame, he reminds me that I am worthy of the love he offers. We have our ups and downs just like any other married couple, but at the end of the day all that matters is that I'd rather fight with him than make love with anyone else.

Oh, and to celebrate we are taking off to where it all began 11 years ago tomorrow........ GA!!! So I will be away from the blog for about 10 days but will return with stories and pictures. Have a great week!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

18 Wks and Bedrest

We had our official look yesterday and baby Peanut is a boy!!! We were completely thrilled until my doctor started discussing concerns that my blood pressure is high. I had full blown pre-eclampsia with my first son which caused him to be delivered early. I expected this would happen again but to hear that its happening already I was shocked and scared to death.

My blood pressure was 148/96. Normally my blood pressure runs low so the fact that at 18 wks its already this high is very bad. My dr is very concerned and is currently consulting specialists about my condition. I am sitting in bed with my laptop, season 3 of Las Vegas, and my stitching. I can return back to work on Monday pending nothing bad happens this weekend. But when I do I'm on strict orders to stay off my feet as much as possible. I also have to watch my diet and return to the doctor for a re-check in two weeks.

Obviously other than the given risks at stake, I am incredibly upset at this turn of events in my pregnancy as we have recently planned a trip home to GA that is taking place in 2 1/2 weeks. If my condition doesn't change, doctor will not let me travel. :(

Everyone please play that we can continue being pregnant without further complications and that Peanut will keep cooking until his allotted time!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

What Justice System?

After dropping off the hubs at work this morning I was listening to the radio and the lady was talking about Lindsay Lohan is expected in court YET AGAIN to plead no contest on this whole theft thing. They mentioned that awhile back she was sentenced to 120 days in jail for a probation violation back in 2007. My spidey senses got the best of me so I did a little internet reading and found out that even though she's sentenced to 120 days she's likely to serve less than two weeks total. WTF????

I happen to have a huge problem with this. If anyone remembers, or for my newer followers who weren't around for this, my husband spent 3 days in jail for hunting without a license. THREE DAYS PEOPLE!!!!! For something incredibly stupid that turned out to never be indicted and no charges filed anyways. But because he was on a current probation for a DUI he was stuck in jail with a ridiculously high bond.

My blood has been boiling over this all morning. Why are celebrities not held accountable like normal people? Why will she not have to serve her entire 120 days in jail? Now, I'm not saying she's guilty or innocent and thats really not my rant here. My rant is, why is the justice system so screwed up? The big news here in Utah yesterday was how a woman was released from prison after 17 years there because a judge had now declared she was factually innocent of her charges. How come she lost 17 years of her life in prison when she was innocent in the first place? How come the people who can afford to spend thousands of thousands of dollars waste tax payers money on courts to stay out of jail instead of just accepting the responsibility for their actions and doing the time they were sentenced to?

Sunday, May 1, 2011

13 Years

Thirteen years ago tomorrow I lost the most important man in my life, my daddy. He was my entire world. He was not just my daddy, but my best friend. Thirteen years later and this week has still not gotten any easier. It starts today because that was the day he went into the hospital, but he actually didn't pass away until tomorrow. Then his birthday is May 7th. He would've been 78 this year.

He missed all of the major events in my life. My high school graduation, never got to walk me down the aisle, and will never know his amazing grandson who carries his name. And he'll never meet this new baby about to enter into our life.

It breaks my heart that he's not here. He was such an amazing man. Full of warmth and love and life. He always had a smile on his face and went out of his way to make sure I was happy. He loved his children, his grandchildren, and his friends. He would've done anything for anybody. When he loved it was with his whole heart.

My dad was an amazing baker. He could make Elmer's glue taste like creme brulee. I have the best memories of my childhood making a huge mess in his kitchen baking cookies, cakes, and the Norwegian classic, lefsa. I got my first scar on his oven making chocolate chip cookies when I was six. Luckily for me, but not my waistline, I inherited his skills. I can't wait to pass them down to my children and only hope they mean half as much to them.

Nothing can take away my pain today. Nothing can stop my tears for the emptiness I have. I know the Lord will give me the strength to get through this week and make it another year without him. But today, I'm feeling the pain of not being able to pick up the phone and call him just to tell him I love him.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Cute Giveaway!

Hey bloggy friends!!

An awesome blogger Tales From A Sailors Soulmate is doing this fab giveaway for reaching 100 followers!!

There's the link to enter! Check it out!! She has some adorable Americana stuff up for grabs!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

11 weeks

Peanut finally looks like a baby!! We even got to see his/her little hands moving. Apparently baby is just like daddy and does not like having their picture taken. And definitely did not like his/her space being invaded.

But we did get to finally hear the heartbeat and everything looks great!! As of today, Baby S will be making his/her appearance in the world on October 27th via scheduled c-section

Monday, April 11, 2011

A Shoutout to my hubs

Ok, you guys may find this gooey and yucky but I just have to give a shout out to my sweet husband.

This pregnancy has absolutely been kicking my butt. The morning sickness is 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Last Tuesday I even missed my first day at work due to the fact that I could not physically stop throwing up for more than 5 minutes. What's worse, the sickness comes out of no where!!! I was literally in my kitchen packing my lunch for work when all of a sudden I just threw up all over the floor. No warning. No nausea. Just bam!

My sweet husband has been so amazing for the last 11 weeks. He has put up with my constant crying, cravings, nausea, all of it. He lays in bed with me and watches movies when I'm to sick to move. Last night he crushed me ice in the blender so I can eat them little by little to help my stomach ache.

He has been cleaning, cooking, doing all the laundry. Everything. My house would be an absolute case for FEMA if it weren't for him. For all you military wives out there who go through this by yourselves, I commend you!! You have strength I'm not sure I'd have. I am so grateful that he has been here for me supporting me. He is definitely my rock!!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Have you ever tried to reason with a seahorse?

Yes, my days are now filled with trying to reason with the small person growing inside of me. Peanut (as he/she is affectionately called in our house) has officially grown to one inch in size and is a HUGE pain in my rear! Lol

I love my child, don't get me wrong. But I would also really love to eat, drink, sleep, and have control of my own bodily functions again. We barely made it home from a trip to Walmart the other day before Peanut decided he no longer like the popcorn I had as a snack. Did I also mention I can smell when the people three miles down the road fart? Well, I can.

I have one more month to beg and plead with my little one to just let me keep down basic nutrients and it cannot go by fast enough! I'm ready to get into the fun and glowing part of pregnancy where I can actually enjoy it and marvel at my little wonder. But for now, everyone just please say a prayer that Peanut will give his mommy a good day!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I'm sorry ma'am but you don't qualify

*Warning: This is a total vent blog and not meant to offend anyone but I need to vent before I blow up*

When we found out I was pregnant I was uninsured. My work group insurance is outrageously expensive and we've been holding out some hope that B would get picked up permanently by his job so we could get his benefits. We did however decide to finally go with something we could afford and that was actually pretty decent coverage but then they wouldn't take us because of my "pre-exisiting condition".

So, that leads us back to point A and I was now forced to take my work group insurance. I am currently paying almost $400 a month out of my measley salary for the premiums and still have to come up with $3,000 out of pocket seperately to cover my deductible before baby comes. I immediately called up all the state agencies one morning trying to get Medicaid or something to help cover some of this cost because its obviously alot for us. I kept getting the same thing from everyone "I'm sorry, but you don't qualify. Your income is over the limit".

Today, I called our local WIC office to set an appointment for that. It is an amazing government program that helps cover your food costs and then babies formula costs. I had it with my first son and it was a huge help to our family. Seeing as how B and I are living paycheck to paycheck and practically robbing Peter to pay Paul at this point, I figured WIC could be a huge help to us. Boy was I wrong!! I once again don't qualify because we make too much money as a family. HOW IN THE HELL IS THIS POSSIBLE????

Don't look at what I make before taxes! Look at what I bring home!! One of my entire paychecks goes to rent and the other pays our monthly bills and hubs income is paying his bills and helping with the deductible costs. We barely have anything left!! We live off the cheapest of the cheap groceries. God forbid I eat actual fruits and vegetables during this pregnancy!

But, if I didn't work and sat at home all day doing nothing we would qualify for EVERYTHING!! The state of Utah would just hand us money! There would be no questions of anything. We'd get it all. I feel like I'm being punished because I have a job and I pay my bills the responsible way.

Please do not take offense to the above paragraph if you are a stay at home mom. I was with Jackson because we could afford it and I cherished it. That rant was not about you.

I had hopes of moving us into a two bedroom apartment so baby could actually have a nursery and we would have space for things. But that now, is probably out of reach. Thanks to our financial problems we'll be staying in my one bedroom abode and baby's crib will have to go in the dining room. Thankfully we don't have a table to actually get in the way. I will be forced however to get rid of my desk and bookshelves.

Pregnancies are supposed to be so wonderful and exciting. And don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled to be pregnant with this baby. But now I have so much financial stress on me I can't seem to enjoy it. I can't seem to find the happy parts and the exciting stuff. At this point I am honestly not even sure how I will afford to buy diapers and necessities for my child. My family is completely unsupportive of this pregnancy and they will not help like they did with Jackson. We aren't close enough for our friends to throw us the amazing showers they did with Jackson. At a time in my life where I should be glowing and excited about the future, all I can do is cry because I am so stressed about how I will ever afford to give this baby a good life.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Then Comes a Baby in a Baby Carriage....

Yep!! We're pregnant! I haven't blogged in awhile holding back spilling the beans. We had a huge scare where the doctor thought the pregnancy might be ectopic but everything turned out ok. I am just barely pregnant (like 4 weeks) and am due around the middle of November. We are SUPER excited and cannot wait to welcome our new addition into th world. After our next ultrasound where there will actually be something to see I'll post some pics!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Day 11

Day 11: A picture of something you hate

Ok, seriously I can't even bring myself to post a picture of the thing I hate the most because it creeps me out that bad. Snakes. I HATE snakes. I am deathly afraid of them. I think they are disgusting and gross and terribly scary. I'm getting creeped out seriously writing this. Yuck!!!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Day 10

Day 10: The person you do the silliest things with.

Meet Angie, my sometimes when she isn't too busy with her own life BFF. This picture is pretty old. But that's how long it's been since we spent any quality time with. We used to be attached at the hip before she got pregnant. Now she's enjoying the life of a stay at home mommy and we don't get to go out and do the stupid things we used to enjoy. But boy do we have some memories!!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

New Cover!!

So, check out my new bloggy!!! I'm so excited because its my very first custom blog and its PERFECT!!! I have to give a huge shout out to Aly over at Bridgework Blogs for taking my spazziness and turning it into this!! If any of you ladies want anything custom and at an awesome price, check her out!! SHE ROCKS!

Day 9

Day 9: A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Ok, so this post is hard for me. I have some great friends who have been by my side through alot of things, but I can also be a really closed off person. There are some inner most things that I don't share with even them. So, as strange as it is, I guess the person who has gotten me through the most would be my son. No matter what is going on and how bad things are, his face and his "Love you mommy" gets me through everything in the world. This picture is old, but its one of my faves!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 8

Day 8: A picture that makes you laugh.

This post was a no brainer! This pic absolutely cracks me up everytime I see it. This is my husband. During the holidays I cross stitched gifts for his family. Well, I have never been able to accomplish a french knot. I was trying and trying and cussing and cussing. He was highly amused by my antics which only pissed me off even more. So of course I said "Well if you think its so easy, you come do it!" Which he did. This was him trying and failing!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Day 7

Day 7: Post a picture of your most treasured item.

Ok first I have to apologize for the blog throw up this morning!! I ran away with my husband this weekend and am just now sitting down to my computer.

This is a cookbook. As you can see its super old and very used. When my dad passed away I was very young and the situation was very bad within my family. This book and one other cookbook were the only things I got to take from my father's home. And believe it or not, I'm completely ok with it. This book was one of his most treasured items and now its mine. I've only made a few things out of it, but one day when I get brave I'll try more. But for now, I hold it closely to my heart and can't wait to pass it on to my children.

Day 6

Day 6: A person you would like to trade places with for a day.

Ok, first off, I am not a democrat. Nor did I vote for Obama and I'm not about to get into a debate on politics. I chose Michelle Obama as the person I would trade places with for a day because of one reason and one reason only, MILITARY FAMILES.

She is the one person in the world who can bring alot of attention to military families and the hardships they go through. Wives are left behind with young children, or pregnant or just left behind miles and miles away from family while their husbands go off to war. Then sometimes their tasked with the God awful job of burying their beloved one.

I don't think military wives get enough recognition or credit. I have a friend who tried for years to conceive, they finally did and her husband was sent off on his umpteenth deployment and didn't even get to see his son be born. I have friends who have been through moves and sicknesses, deaths, and many other hard life changes. Thankfully, I am still currently the only one who has ever had to bury my loved one. I pray everyday that my friends never have to experience that pain. I want to watch them grow their families and grow old and senial with me!

If you could trade places with one person for one day, who would it be and why?

Day 5

Day 5: Post a picture of your favorite memory.

I don't even remember how old I was in this picture. Maybe 10? But it's me and my daddy on a daddy/daughter lunch cruise in Ft Myers. We were on a boat that cruised up the intercoastal and it was alot of fun. I have hundreds of memories of my father, but this one stands out among them. This picture was even featured in our hometown newspaper. If you google "Daddy's girl" my picture will be the first thing to pop up. I worshipped my father. He passed away 13 years ago and there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him. I am so grateful that I have this memory of an afternoon on a boat with him to look back on when I'm feeling sad.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Day 4

Day 4: Post a picture of your best friend

Well, so far this has been a no brainer post. Meet my BFF Erin. She is a fellow blogger and at the time we became friends we were both military wives. We met via the interwebs and I couldn't be happier. It's been almost 5 years and we're still just as close today as we were the day we met.

The picture above was last summer here in Utah when we FINALLY met in person. It was awesome!! We got along just as well in person as we do online. Which is good because we usually spend an average of 12+ hrs talking every day. Yes, every single day. Our husbands do not understand our relationship and I'm pretty sure mine gets a little jealous at times. He's starting to understand a little, but I just keep explaining that she's been around longer :)

Erin has been with me through one horrible marriage, crappy divorce, pyscho boyfriends, miscarriages, new marriages, etc. And currently she's guiding my way through temping and charting and trying to conceive. And I know once I do get pregnant, she'll be there for all the craziness that entails!! So Erin, here's to many many more years of chats, babies, and friendship!!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 3

Day 3: Post a picture of the cast from your favorite TV show.

Ok, so this was SUPER hard as I have a huge addiction to reality television and other drama's on once a week. Currently, I'm watching my new favorite show that also happens to be one of the #1 shows for CBS.

Meet the Reagan's. They are the family centered around the show Blue Bloods. They're a few generations of NYPD cops. Dad (Tom Selleck) is the NYPD police commissioner, Danny (Donnie Wahlberg) a hotshot detective, Jamie (Will Estes) a rookie street cop, Grandpa (?) retired cop, and Erin (Bridget Moynahan) the Assistant District Attorney.

This family has known its share of tragedy so it's easy to relate. They had an older brother who was killed in the line of duty. The mom passed away of cancer. Erin is recovering from a divorce. Danny did two tours in Iraq/Afghanistan. Then, they have this realistic family togetherness where they sit down to dinner every Sunday no matter how brief. If you sit down and just watch one episode, any episode, you'll be hooked.

I like this show for a number of reasons. First, my BFF living in NYC, Smiley, has always love Donnie Wahlberg. Me, not so much. But she heard about his new show and even found where they were taping in the streets. Hearing her excitement got me excited. Then I found out that Tom was in it. I have a completely unhealthy normal crush on Tom Selleck. Hello?? Who doesn't love a 6ft tall man who carries a gun and has the perfect mustache?? Oh and if you've never seen him as Jesse Stone in that series of CBS movies, run to Redbox NOW!! Then, after a couple episodes I noticed the adorable Will Estes. Last week they even showed him with his shirt off and I had to go out in the snow to cool down. :)

Then there's this mysterious back story of how the older brother was killed and some secret society called the Blue Templar. Not so much on this topic yet, but I'm excited for more. And if anyone from CBS happens upon my little blog, please PLEASE renew this show for a second season and many more!!!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Baby Blues

Blogs are where you're supposed to let your emotions run free, right?? Well, I totally need to.

Currently, B and I are trying to conceive. And yes, I get that we haven't been trying that long and I should just "be patient" and all that. But I'm seriously upset and frustrated with the subject of babies. As of right this minute there are 16 women in my inner circle who are pregnant. Majority of them for the second time. Please don't mistake my point here. I am completely happy for these women. Some of them are my closest of friends. I am thrilled that they are expanding their family. I am just extremely frustrated that I am not.

I love my son with everything that is in me. He is the absolute light of my life. But I do not now nor have I ever really loved his father. Booger was a complete OOPS! but that has never changed how I feel about him. But now that I have actually found the man that I love enough to actually WANT to have babies with, it is just not happening!!

I know that conception is realistic in a very short window each month so we are actually going to start the temping and charting and all that fun stuff as soon as Flo makes her appearance next week. Trust me, I am not pregnant this month. I just know.

I truly hope that I am not offending anyone out there in the blogosphere because I know that there are women who have had much more serious problems with fertility than I seem to be. But after being on depo for almost 5 years after my son was born I have serious concerns about the damage I may have done to my body for it not to be conceiving. And it literally feels like I'm the only person NOT pregnant right now!

I just want to give my husband the joy of having a child. The amazing 9 months of pregnancy, the birth, watch him hold our baby for the first time. But being completely a little impatient, I want that NOW! I want to reproduce with the man I love. And as happy as I am for my friends who are getting to experience all this wonderfulness, I am seriously sad. I cry everytime another one tells me she's pregnant. I bawled all through Grey's Anatomy last week watching Callie get her ultrasound. I live in Utah where you can't sneeze without running into 5 pregnant women. I look at their bellies and it honestly makes me just hurt because I want that so badly.

I know "it will happen" and just "be patient, give it time". Yeah, I get all that. I truly do. But this is my blog and I'll cry if I want to!

Day 2

Day 2: A picture of you and the person you used to be close with

This post makes me a little sad. This BW. She used to be my best friend. But alas last year the AF PCS'd her and her husband to the other side of the country. This picture was taken on their last day in Utah.

BW and I used to do EVERYTHING together. We talked literally several times a day. We ate meals together, shopped together, hung out together, everything that BFF's do. Of course we said we'd keep in touch after they left Utah and we have, but not near as much. I've realized lately that her presence in my life was very special and I miss it terribly. Now's she's pregnant with her second baby and living across the country and we barely even speak.

I know the military seperates us all and we make friends and lose friends constantly. It's a sad cycle but at the same time it can be a blessing. Without the military I wouldn't have my long standing BFF Erin who has been with me through some of the worst and some of the best times of my life. Without her love and support I don't know how I could've gotten through my divorce. And now she is standing by my side on my journey to conceive.

So now that today's post has left us all a little sad, take a moment and remember someone who was brought into your life but might not be around much anymore. Maybe pick up the phone and call or email them to tell them you're thinking about them. I think I will.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Day 1

Day 1: Post a photo of you and 15 facts

15 Facts:

1. I am southern born and bred!
2. I am a mom
3. I went to UGA and bleed red and black
4. I am currently an internet manager for a large dealer group
5. My material goal in life is to own an authentic Louis Vuitton purse
6. I am OBSESSED with reality tv. The trashy kind like Real Housewives, Teen Mom, etc
7. I am a total spaz. One minute I'll be blaring George Strait, the next its Rev Theory
8. I LOVE shoes. I am not into purses so much, but shoes are my weakness. I would probably buy a pair every week if my bank account husband would allow it.
9. I recently married my first love and my best friend
10. I drive a huge lifted truck that gets the worlds worst gas mileage
11. I used to drive a crotch rocket. Yamaha R6 to be exact. Miss it everyday
12. I aspire to be Paula Deen in the kitchen and my ass is starting to look like hers. Butter, butter, butter!!
13. I am deathly terrified of snakes and clowns. I know, totally spastic right?
14. I want to have at least 2 more children. Currently in the process but so far, no go.
15. I like my pizza with nothing but cheese 99% of the time. My husband makes complete fun of my lack of variety with this. I can't help it. I'm a sucker for that ooey gooey goodness.

Come back tomorrow for Day 2!!

30 Day Challenge

So, a friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I thought it would be a great idea for a blog since I've been a total slacker! And with all my new followers it's a "getting to know" me kind of thing too. I encourage you all to participate too!! Here are my 30 days!

Day 01 - A picture of yourself with fifteen facts.

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you used to be close with.

Day 03 - A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Day 04 - A picture of your best friends.

Day 05 - A picture of your favorite memory.

Day 06 - A picture of a person you'd love to trade places with for a day.

Day 07 - A picture of your most treasured item.

Day 08 - A picture that makes you laugh.

Day 09 - A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most.

Day 10 - A picture of the person you do the silliest things with.

Day 11 - A picture of something you hate.

Day 12 - A picture of something you love.

Day 13 - A picture of your favorite band or artist.

Day 14 - A picture of someone you could never imagine your life without.

Day 15 - A picture of something you want to do before you die.

Day 16 - A picture of someone who inspires you.

Day 17 - A picture of something that has made a huge impact on your life recently.

Day 18 - A picture of your biggest insecurity.

Day 19 - A picture of you when you were little.

Day 20 - A picture of somewhere you'd love to travel.

Day 21 - A picture of your favorite night .

Day 22 - A picture of something you wish you were better at.

Day 23 - A picture of your favorite book.

Day 24 - A picture of something you wish you could change.

Day 25 - A picture of your favorite day.

Day 26 - A picture of something that means a lot to you.

Day 27 - A picture of yourself and a family member.

Day 28 - A picture of something you're afraid of.

Day 29 - A picture that can always make you smile.

Day 30 - A picture of someone you miss.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Vegas?? Yes please!!!

So with my last blog you guys just thought we were sending off the band, Royal Bliss. Well.... it ended up being a send off for us too. Saturday we decided what the hell and we drove to Vegas!! Totally spontaneous. Literally we left Utah with nothing but our wallets and the clothes on our backs. I got on my glued to my side handy blackberry and booked us a room at the Luxor on! (Side note, if you've never used this site DO IT!!) We got a fantastic rate, filled up the truck with gas and hit the road!! We arrived in the AMAZING Las Vegas right around dinner time and I took B straight down the strip for his first time ever! After a quick trip to Walgreens for toothbrushes and deodorant. I'll let the pics speak for themselves but needless to say, we had a blast and cannot wait to go back for a longer time!

The cheesy $3 shirts we bought to wear home
And this is what we came home to

Saturday, January 29, 2011

TGIF and a Send Off

I have to start this blog by saying that I could not wait for Friday to get here. Seriously, it has been one of THOSE weeks at work. And even though I love my job I needed a break. It didn't hurt that we had plans for the last two weeks to see Royal Bliss again.

Last night was their last show in Utah for the next few months while they're touring across the country. I know all of us bloggers are spread all over the country so check these guys out on their Facebook page and see if they are coming to a town near you! They are absolutely worth the trip!

Us on our way to Liquid Joes

Dwayne, rockin' guy from GA

Neal, Lead singer

Taylor, Lead guitarist we met at our first Royal Bliss show

Me and Dwayne after the show

New Royal Bliss CD signed by all 3 guitarists
As you can see we had another amazing time. These guys do not disappoint AT ALL! Also, they post weekly webisodes on YouTube and they are hilarious. Check them out!! Royal Bliss, be safe on the road and can't wait to see you again when you get back to Utah!